You just made me feel so damn special
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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