why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
