She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
