i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
