Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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