peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
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I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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