maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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