So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
