I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
