Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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