whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize