Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
