see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
