dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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