I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
