you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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