Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
