hell yes lets make some ravioli
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
