Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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