oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
