OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
