i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
