I wish i was in the wii world.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
