someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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