New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
