Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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