Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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