She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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