just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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