Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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