I want to make a zoo with you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We are two peas in an std pod
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
