OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
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Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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