Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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