Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
