I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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