Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
