"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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