that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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