The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
