did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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