I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
