omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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