I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
