do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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