I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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