He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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