Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
