I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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