man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You took a bar mat shot.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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