First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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