i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
