I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
