Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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