fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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