He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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