Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
