Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
