what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
