Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
