i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize