You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
