I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
